Every new Beginning comes from some other Beginning's End....

Yesterday marked the end of my first two weeks as a senior in high school.

After one week into senior year, my boyfriend of five and a half months (it seemed so much longer than that) decided he didn't care anymore and broke it off.

Also, during that weekend, my best friend from Saudi (whom I hadn't seen in 3 years) came to visit me, and I had to drive her to the airport at the beginning of the week, which brought me to tears.

Senior year so far is turning out to be kind of depressing.

I got a call from an admissions counselor from the university I really want to go to next year wanting to schedule a campus visit and was encouraging me to apply online.

And, of course, the million dollar question somehow found its way in: she asked me what I want to do with my life. Like I know! Up until this point, someone else has decided that for me, as it has been with all the other major decisions in my life, like where I work, where I go to school, what car I'm going to drive, who I associate with, where I go to church, the list goes on... It really hasn't occurred to me yet that I'm going to be making it on my own a year from now until [if] I get married, which could be ten years down the road, IF it happens at all.

Just yesterday, someone asked me who I wanted to vote for. It didn't hit me that I had to make that decision. I just thought my parents would hold my hand into the booth and press my finger on the screen to who they want me to vote for.

I've been trying to figure out what I want for my future. Who I want running the country, who I want to see in the mirror, what I want to do.... and I just don't know.

It's sad, but I've been focusing more on how I'm going to function without Storm.  We made it from Spring Break to the first week of Senior Year. That's a long time in high school.

But now that we're not together anymore, I'm stuck in this really awkward, lonely void, where I don't really have any close friends from school. I have acquaintances. And it SUCKS! I don't know what to do with myself on weekends, so most of the time, I get on my laptop, and I watch Scrubs online. If I get a call, I'll go out, because those calls are so few and far between.

So until I get out of this awkward, lonely, post-longterm-relationship phase, I'm stuck wondering how I'm going to get back on my feet.

It's times like this I wish someone else would go through my life for me....