Ever since Storm and I broke up, the few guys that were lined up waiting for that day all disappeared.
I'll always be cute, never pretty or hot or beautiful. Just plain ol' good girl cute.
I want to vomit.
I don't look great right now because I've put on 20 pounds and can't seem to get my face to quit breaking out.
Wanna know why?
I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, where I want to live my life next year, how to deal with my never-understanding parents on a day-to-day basis, my freakin' hard Pre-Area music, and how in the hell we're going to find this money to send me away.
I'm depressed.
The only thing that's keeping me from going off the edge is my guitar and the few friends I have.
God's been giving me the silent treatment lately.
I swear, there are days where I just want to take a bath with my toaster, or some electrical appliance.
I told my dad that this whole college thing was stressing me out to the point that I wanted to go play Frogger and not come back and he said "Well, a funeral is definitely cheaper..."
What kind of father says that?
I'd like to think it's all going to be okay, but it's not.
Well, it's not looking okay right now.
I needed to vent. I'm sorry for this. Really and truly.
This may go private later... I haven't decided.
1 comment:
I am really sorry about all your stress. I understand most of it. First of all, the guys, they're stupid and the one that isn't is out there and when it's time you'll meet that guy. Don't let guys get you down or it will only waste your life. And college, well it's not going to get any less stressful so you've got to just be ready to go with the flow - something I def. struggle with! And just because you don't hear God doesn't mean that he isn't there. Don't give up on him because when you have nothing or even just think you have nothing, he's all you have. I have also realized that recently. The stress and hardship is def. worth it to finally begin to find yourself all over again when you thought you knew everything there was to know. I hope things go great for you, just keep always hoping and don't ever give up! Cheesy I know, but it's the truth.
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